Rest in Peace, Ito Curata and Bob Miller
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Bob Miller (left) and Ito Curata (Photo by Agiles Embastilla-Zamora)
Bob Miller’s death follows his partner’s, fashion designer Ito Curata, who passed away several weeks ago from the same coronavirus.
Years back, the couple lived in San Francisco when my partner, Jonathan, and I lived in nearby Berkeley. I was the director of a new AIDS organization taking care of Asians and Pacific Islanders who needed counseling, meals, and any other help.
It was a daunting job; much of the Asian community was averse to recognizing that this was an issue in their lives. Most often, our clients who tested positive for HIV were despairing, being gay and having not come out to their families and now needing support. In more than a few instances, parents who were very religious and homophobic threw their sons out of the house after learning of their status.
In my first year of having to keep the organization afloat, we needed and got the support of our LGBT friends. We organized small fundraisers, a mahjong party session, a drag show in a church basement, and just the passing of the hat among those whose best friends, whom we had taken care of, had passed away
“Bob Miller and Ito Curata’s generosity was always accompanied by the most sincere care, affection and a beaming smile.”
A fancy gay restaurant called me one day and offered to host a dinner, tickets to be sold and the proceeds to go to our organization. I was quite excited about the prospect but got worried about selling an expensive dinner to a rich clientele I was not familiar with.
Curata’s dress worn by actress Sharon Stone (Source: Ito Curata’s facebook)
The invitations were printed and the gay newspapers published our dinner. That very morning when the paper was out, I got a call from a man with a husky voice. He introduced himself as Bob and bought two tickets. I was so excited and later in the day, a few more calls came to buy tickets, many were friends of Bob and Ito. Several days later, we had a full house for the dinner.
I met Bob and his partner, Ito, at that dinner. Both were very charming, and I expressed my thanks for their support and Bob’s help in getting the word out.
Years later, we all returned to the Philippines and met on various occasions, like ballets and concerts. Ito, a well-known fashion designer, was in the news with his latest fashion show. Bob was the homebody helping raise their son, Taj, and also became my Facebook friend.
I was touched one day when he offered to donate a large selection of his books to our Ortigas Library. All the books were in fine condition, but one sensed they had been read.
With Facebook, I read about their charmed life, their son whom they doted on and their travels. And then this sad news, first with Ito, and everyone wishing for Bob’s recovery, until the final news this morning.
Miller and Curata, with designer OJ Hofer (center) (Source: Ito Curata’s facebook)
I thank Bob and Ito for being there for me, supporting the AIDS effort in the Bay Area and here, helping the Library’s literacy efforts. Their generosity was always accompanied by the most sincere care, affection and a beaming smile.
We’ve lost two gracious gentlemen. I hope someone will take care of their son Taj who must be grieving so.
Reposted with permission from the author’s Facebook page.
John L. Silva
John L. Silva is executive director of the Ortigas Library, a research library in Manila.
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