My Mother’s Task
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Maria Pascuala Cabuñag Orteza (Digital black-and-white photo colorized by Venjoy Venzon Alegre.)
Maria Pascuala Cabuñag Orteza
May 17, 1929 - Oct. 20, 2002
born in Calbiga, Samar
As a young girl, I had wanted so badly to audition for Mars Ravelo's Trudis Liit after Sampaguita Pictures put out a newspaper ad announcing the search for the little girl who'd play Luis Gonzales' daughter in the movie.
On the day of the auditions, I woke up early to shower and dress up. I went to our dining room-cum-kitchen; we lived on Chinkiang St., along FB Harrison in Pasay City then. I still remember the sight of Mama, herself freshly bathed, preparing breakfast, and the smell of cooking rice. Then she saw me. She sat down, put me on her lap, then said: "Anak, hindi kita dadalhin sa auditions, ha (I won’t bring you to the auditions, okay)?"
I asked, "Bakit (why)?"
She did not hem and haw, went straight to the point: "Anak, hindi ka maganda. Hindi ka artistahin (My child, you’re not beautiful. You’re not movie star material).” I looked at her, my eyes filling up with tears. Then she continued. "But you're bright. You read a lot. Magaling kang mag-spelling. Magsulat (You’re good in spelling. And writing). Anak, improve on what you have. Dito ka makikilala (this is how you will be known), someday."
Years and years later, after this "hindi artistahin (not movie-star material)" had somehow gotten into film and television, when Mama was ill and in the last month of her life, I teased her about that moment. She went quiet, for a beat, then said:
"Kung nahirapan kang marinig iyon sa akin, mas nahirapan akong sabihin. Walang pinakamahirap para sa isang nanay kundi ang sabihin sa kanyang anak na hindi siya maganda. Pero asya an trabaho han iroy, an heya et masiring ha eya anak hin kamatuoran. (If it was hard for you to hear it, it was harder for me to say it. There’s nothing more difficult for a mother than to tell her daughter that she isn’t beautiful. But it is a mother's task to tell her child the truth)."
“She did not hem and haw, went straight to the point: 'Anak, hindi ka maganda. Hindi ka artistahin (My child, you’re not beautiful. You’re not movie star material).'”
The best thing my father ever did was to choose her to be his wife and mother to his eight children, the first of whom had cerebral palsy and passed away when I was 10 months old, with the third — her favorite, a doctor — falling to Covid on April 8, 2020.
I love you, Mama. Thank you for teaching me early on I wasn’t what I was from the outside, but what I was, inside.
Happy birthday, in heaven!
(Digital black-and-white photo colorized by Venjoy Venzon Alegre.)
Bibeth Orteza: I’m still me and I’m still at it. Happily married, happily a mom.
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