‘Mais Con Hielo’
/Movie Review: ‘Asian Persuasion’
This is the kind of movie one goes to in order to be entertained. And there are times that what we do need is just entertainment--very corny but totally cool--hence mais con hielo (sweet corn kernels with ice). It’s not ampalaya (bitter melon), no matter how good that may be for your health. It’s not heavy in your gut nor does it stick to your ribs. It probably doesn’t give you any of your RDA of nutrients and such. What does it matter? Just chill.
You see it right from the start. The romantic hero, the underachieving chef Mickey de Los Santos’ (Dante Basco) coffee shop is called “Da FiliBeans,” a business name so groaningly punny, and yet, oh so quintessentially Pinoy. The scriptwriter, Mike Ang, even has one of the coffee shop patrons suggest adding Vienna sausage as a taste enhancer to just about everything, including chicken adobo. He must not have tasted the walnut and ube pancakes Mickey whips up for breakfast, which are the kind of Asian fusion dish that sells like, you guessed it, hotcakes.
It is so fitting that Asian Persuasion was shot in the centuries-old racial and cultural melting pot that is New York City. Twenty-one Asian countries were represented in this production: Bangladesh, Cambodia, China, Hong Kong, India, Indonesia, Japan, Laos, Malaysia, Mongolia, Myanmar, Nepal, Philippines, Singapore, South Korea, Sri Lanka, Taiwan, Thailand, Tibet, Vietnam, and even Israel—a human resources halo halo if there ever was one.
The plot revolves around the feckless Mickey’s belated realization that he has f---ed himself up yet again, as the opening scene reveals, when he recklessly signs a divorce agreement with his wife, Miss Avery Chua (KC Concepcion), without having his own lawyer present to advise him, and without even first studying or even reading, the legal document that he is signing. Bahala na si Batman—a very Pinoy attitude. Although the divorce is amicable enough, as far as the shared custody of their precious daughter, Sam (Scarlett Sher) goes, the savvy entrepreneur Miss Avery is not about to let her far less successful ex get off so easily. It might have been her way of trying to motivate him, to challenge him to measure up. KC Concepcion manages to come off as a warm, truly decent, and sympathetic human being who’s at the end of her rope, and not as a ball-crushing b---h, just out to bleed Mickey for everything he’s got when, she already has so much more herself. The movie’s tagline after all is, “Every great marriage could use a good divorce.”
This Fil-Am romcom, it is actually an homage to Ratatouille, and every bit as fantastic, in its own good-natured way. Proving that in this instance, two heads are not better than one, Mickey and his best buddy, Cas (Kevin Kreider), decide that the only way for him to get out of having to pay Miss Avery alimony, which is way beyond his means, is to get her married off to some other schmuck ASAP. Enter the very successful Lee (Paolo Montalban), a Wall Street type who’s at the top of his game but incredibly still not spoken for and very much looking for love without seeming like an incel (involuntary celibate) at all. Not to worry. This movie doesn’t seem to have any creepiness or dark sides to it.
Against all odds, with Mickey and Cas playing God behind the scenes, and thanks to the technological marvel and ubiquity of ear buds, Lee and Avery meet cute and obligingly fall in like, at least. Love and marriage should be next on the menu. Part of the running Ratatouille joke is that an obscure coffee shop proprietor and a ripped bartender are able to bend the wills of a top financial head honcho and a successful woman creative who runs her own independent business to do their messy bidding. No one gets sued, or has on-camera sex for that matter. This is after all, a fantasy.
Don’t expect political correctness that eschews cultural misappropriation either. One of the sight gags which garnered the most laughs with the Filipino premiere audience has Mickey and Cas disguised as cartoon Mexicans from a Trumpian dreamscape, while they spy on Miss Avery and Lee. What a sight they are to behold, decked out in serapes and brandishing moustaches as thick as blackboard erasers. Who might be offended at such outlandishness that would be more appropriate in some crazed cosplay? No Filipinos apparently, and probably not many other Asians either.
Watching Asian Persuasion is also a fun opportunity to play spot that celebrity, with cameos by Black Eyed Peas member Apl.de.Ap, Yam Concepcion, Tony Labrusca, Rachel Alejandro, Fe de los Reyes, Rex Navarrete, Janice Sonia Lee, Devin Ilaw, Ami Sheth, Joyce Keokham, Imani Hanson, and Renee Rogoff. Sometimes, moviegoers just want to have fun. We deserve it too.
Maria Carmen Sarmiento is an award winning writer and the former Executive Director of the PAL Foundation. She can be reached at menchusarmiento@gmail.com; menchusarmiento@ymail.com.
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