Love (and Life) In The Time of Coronavirus, Part 3

One month after sheltering-in-place……

My driveway has become the “living room” during this lockdown.  It is the place where we receive visitors -- delivery persons, some neighbors and my son and his family – where we exchange pleasantries and, with my family, share stories and feelings about this unprecedented time in our lives.  

My daughter-in-law and the grandchildren sit at the back of their van parked in our driveway/living room.

My daughter-in-law and the grandchildren sit at the back of their van parked in our driveway/living room.

My grandson, Xavier, learned to bike without the training wheels in my driveway just last week.   My oldest grandchild, Ashley, is graduating this year from high school, but she fears there won’t be a ceremony.  The senior prom was already canceled. At least she gets to see her classmates during the online classes.  Kayla, my 12-year-old makeup artist granddaughter, cut her long locks.  She and Ashley baked a “Spiderman” birthday cake for Xavier, who turned six last week.  We had a zoom meeting with all the relatives to sing Happy Birthday to Xavier.  It took longer to gather everyone than the actual singing (20 seconds, right?)

Ashley and Kayla’s cake for Xavier.

Ashley and Kayla’s cake for Xavier.

My friend, Imelda, set up a 30-minute yoga class on Zoom, twice a week.  This is my only social contact outside of the family, and I look forward to it.  I get to see friends from here in the Bay Area, Houston, New York and Manila.

Holy Week was all digital.  Maundy Thursday had no washing of the feet.  Good Friday had no kissing of the Cross, and Easter Sunday had no crowds (even online).  But we were kept entertained throughout the whole day.  Andrea Bocelli’s live concert in Milan was at 10 a.m., Easter Mass livestream was at 11:30 a.m., Carlo and the kids came for a visit around 4 p.m. and John Legend’s production of Jesus Christ Superstar replayed at 7:00 p.m.  All in all, a prayerful Easter Sunday.

After a month of isolation, my mood is changing.  I don’t know any more what time it is and what day it is.  No alarm to wake me up in the morning.  What for?  No place to go.  So, I sleep in until late morning and do small, inconsequential things just to fill my time.  I only know evening has come when it gets dark; but darkness doesn’t still my mind to sleep because I don’t know what tomorrow will be like.  I stay up until 3:00 a.m.  And the cycle repeats itself the next day.  The weather is not cooperating either.  Spring is supposed to be upon us, but it is still so cold and raining.  My arthritis is acting up, and gloomy weather tends to make me lethargic.

I am starting to hate cooking now that I have to do it every day.  Last night, a knife almost fell on my foot.  I have burn scars on my fingers and right arm from scalding hot water trying to cook the pasta, and from getting the ribs out of the oven.  So, we started ordering takeout lately.  A bit more expensive, but so much easier.  And no dishes to wash.  I have never been good at housekeeping, so cleaning the house is a chore I really detest.  I was going to make an exception for the cleaning lady to continue to come once a week, but my son warned me that it wouldn’t be wise since we don’t know with whom she has come in contact. 

The 2,000-piece puzzle I started a few days ago is scattered over the breakfast nook table and kitchen counters.  Somehow, I have lost interest.  At first I looked at solving the puzzles as enjoying what was once a hobby to fill my time.  But now, I look at it and cannot help but think about the inanity of it -- jigsaw puzzles at the time of a pandemic?  How incongruous can it be?  And yet, jigsaw puzzles are sold out everywhere.  Manufacturers can’t keep up with the demand.  It also takes some time to create a finished product from the artist’s drawing as each puzzle is carefully carved into pieces.  If you are lucky to place an order, the delivery date isn’t till end of June!  I read that jigsaw puzzles are good for your left and right brains.  I still work on it, putting in place a few pieces at a time, unlike the hurried pace I displayed with the first two puzzles I worked on.  Patience is needed to finish the puzzle just like we can’t find a cure for the virus right away, even how much we speed things up; we need to give the scientists and medical experts time as they discover new things every day to complete the puzzle of the virus.

The puzzle

The puzzle

I wish someone (government or another entity) would organize all of us to do something to help out.  We have so much time on our hands while the front liners hardly have time to rest or visit their families; while those who have family members who have died or who are sick are feeling depressed; and while those who have lost their jobs are feeling desperate and hopeless.  I have checked online for volunteer opportunities, but no one wants to recruit seniors.  There must be something we can do from home to help out, other than making masks and donating money.  (Speaking of philanthropy, check out these organizations who are helping the Filipino American community -- deliveries of food supplies and weekly food banks for seniors: West Bay Pilipino Multi Sevice Center (westbaycenter.org), Bayanihan Equity Center (https://www.somapilipinas.org/community-1/2018/7/13/veterans-equity-center) and United Playaz (http://unitedplayaz.org/), feeding health care workers from Filipino-owned restaurants, Kultivate Labs (kultivatelabs.com/frontlines), providing prepaid gift cards and electronic direct bank transfers to elders, domestic workers and low-income families in Alameda or Contra Costa counties, Filipinos Advocates for Justice (filipinos4justice.networkforgood.com/projects/96884-faj-bayanihan-covid-fund).

My husband, a former reporter, has the news on almost our whole waking time, either on television, radio or mobile devices.  I, on the other hand, refuse to watch the news on television.  It causes more anxiety and helplessness as I watch inept political leaders try to handle the situation.  I mean, here we are with a global pandemic, with thousands of people dying and millions being infected, and we can’t even be reassured that they will take care of us.  Worse, in the Philippines, people will be shot if they “disobey” orders to stay in.  Would you rather die of hunger or of the virus?  Where is the compassion and empathy that our leaders should display?  It is during times like these that the true colors of politicians emerge; some surprise us with a rainbow of options and solutions while others, unfortunately, only bring dark, narcissistic and megalomaniacal reactions.

Every day I get messages from Facebook and Viber on who has been admitted to the ICU and who has died because of the virus.  There are also a few messages on those who have recovered.  My daughter-in-law, who is a doctor in Manila, says she bought her own gas mask since the masks recently provided by the hospital had leaks.

Many conglomerates and companies in the Philippines (including our family) donated to the P1.5 billion initiative, Project Ugnayan, where grocery vouchers are given to millions of households in areas affected by the quarantine. With the help of Caritas Manila, COVID-19 kits and food packages will be distributed to urban poor families also.  Our family-owned construction company, EEI, with the help of volunteer workers, donated and built temporary medical facilities in PICC and Rizal Memorial Stadium, and lent 64 brand new modules to eight hospitals in Luzon complete with air-conditioning units and beds that may be used by COVID-19 patients and hospital workers as temporary accommodation.  Mapua’s Engineering School developed a low-cost mobile disinfection chamber that comes with a thermal scanner, cough and sound detection, breathing pattern artificial intelligence and facial recognition features.  These are just a few examples of how people are coming together to help one another, and how people are coming out of their comfort zones to push their imagination, creativity, talent and inventiveness.   So many heart-wrenching stories of families separated at death, but also so many heart-warming stories of kindness and generosity at this time.  Yes, there is hope and we need to keep it alive.

The EEI clinic (Source: Yuchengco Group of Companies’ facebook page)

The EEI clinic (Source: Yuchengco Group of Companies’ facebook page)

Inside the EEI clinic (Source: Yuchengco Group of Companies’ facebook page)

Inside the EEI clinic (Source: Yuchengco Group of Companies’ facebook page)

On a lighter note, I am fantasizing that I am cooped up at home with Richard Gere to make it easier.  No, make that Colin Firth, now that he is single.  My Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice fame) will whisk me away to his grand castle and we will shelter-in-place happily ever after! Much as my husband gives me comfort, I find that I still need my own space and fantasy, every now and then.  I am a very independent woman, and fear that I may lose this too. 

Colin Firth (Source: Pride and Prejudice)

Colin Firth (Source: Pride and Prejudice)

I know it is difficult for most of us to shelter-in-place for more weeks (or months).  But it will end one day, and when it does, we are then wiser and more determined to make the world a better place for all of us.  We simply cannot go back to the way we were, not after losing loved ones and sacrificing so much.  Let’s listen to our hearts this time.

Hope to see you soon.