Love (and Life) In The Time Of Coronavirus – Part 2
/Here is how I occupied my second week.
I take walks with my husband when it is not raining. When it rains, he helps me exercise with the Elliptical, sit-ups, elastic bands, balls and weights for at least 30 minutes after dinner. My son, Carlo, brought Xavier, my five-year-old grandson, to do his PE exercises in my driveway. It was such a pleasant surprise as I had not seen them for what seems like eternity. I watched from six feet away and captured Xavier’s flying kisses also from that distance.
The next day I was able to exercise with Xavier again – he ran, while I walked, he jumped while I stayed in place and pretended to move! If he comes every day, then I am not worried about not getting enough exercise. I sent Xavier’s video to his cousin, Kai, in Manila and in a few minutes, Kai responded by copying Xavier’s exercise. Again, thank God for technology, I am able to see my grandchildren on the other side of the world. My granddaughter, Kayla, plays Word Hunt with me online. Carlo says he is thinking of creative ways so we can see each other while keeping our distance.
Xavier, 5
Kai, 8
I finished the two 1,000-piece jigsaw puzzles I bought, and now I am about to embark on the 2,000-piece challenge. A friend of mine is also working on jigsaw puzzles so we agreed to exchange puzzles.
I attended Sunday Masses online. In all my Catholic years, this is the first time I have done this. I miss receiving Communion. I wonder if the Easter services will also be online. I pray the rosary every day while walking.
I still take my short drives once a week to the office, dry cleaners, bank and grocery store. Today, on the way back from the office to pick up the mail, I blared my disco music on high and sang and danced in the car. With so few cars on the freeway, nobody noticed me. But it sure felt good “letting go.” I wish I had recorded it so I can make you smile.
I’ve been reflecting a lot about life lately – how easily it is given and how easily it is taken away – how arbitrary it can be. It is during these challenges that we have time to realize the many blessings we have and be grateful. I think about my life -- how I left the Philippines 38 years ago to start a new life with my two sons in San Francisco. I remember with tears the many fun (and scary) moments with my children as we adapted to our new surroundings and life in the U.S., and the many friends we made along the way. I remember the challenges and heartaches in publishing Filipinas Magazine, as well as the joys and nostalgia for the homeland that the magazine brought to many Filipinos in North America. I remember 34 years ago how I started Philippine International Aid, with only my nerves and passion, and how difficult it was to ask for help in a doubtful and paranoid community that was experiencing its own financial scams and scandals at the time, and how we are now the longest running Filipino American charity. I remember how only seven years ago, a small group of us was discussing how to give the overseas Filipinos more voice (especially when Filipinas Magazine closed), and thus Positively Filipino was born. For all these achievements, there were as many obstacles that we had to hurdle; but lessons learned from these allowed us to surge forward with more hope, caution, determination and optimism. I am not listing these achievements to brag, but rather to remind ourselves that we have the freedom to make our own choices in life, especially in dealing with adversity, as we are now.
I think about my friends, especially those who are in their eighties and nineties, how scared they must be of contracting the virus. And for those who are alone and do not have any family members nearby, how lonely and depressed they must be. At this time in their lives they need to be reassured that they are not alone and they will not be abandoned, even if visits are not allowed.
I think about the front liners who are saving lives every day and putting their own families on hold. My daughter-in-law is a doctor in Manila and she bemoans the fact that they do not have enough protective gear for the doctors and nurses, and how young people are not taking the pandemic seriously. She also says there are not enough testing kits, and yet politicians had themselves tested even if they were not showing symptoms. She says there is only one lab approved to test the results, and patients have to wait for days before knowing if they are positive or negative. She also tells me that a support group has been formed among her doctor friends where they can share their fears, cry, complain, narrate stories, talk about missing their spouses and children – anything that would lift their spirits at the end of the day. There have been several deaths from the medical community. I am so proud of my daughter-in-law and I pray that she and other front liners all over the world will be safe. I’m sure none of them ever expected how dangerous their professions would be.
My daughter-in-law, Dr. Luv Suntay-Abaya
My husband is three years older than me and has a heart condition; so, I am very concerned about his safety. We have been more sensitive to each other these past weeks, since each of us is the other’s only “social and physical” contact. We watch a movie every day and share insights and stories about friends and strangers too. I do the cooking and the dishes; he does the laundry, picks up the mail (down the hill) and brings the garbage bin down the hill and back up after pickup. We watched an old film “Two for the Road” starring Albert Finney and Audrey Hepburn. (For those who have not seen the 1967 film, it is about a couple who examine their troubled marriage while on a road trip to Southern France.) It was our love for Audrey Hepburn (among other things) that brought my husband and I together, and watching the film brought back romantic memories of 19 years ago. (Sigh.) We have gotten along better these past two weeks than in ordinary times. Maybe we needed being locked up together to appreciate each other!
I think a lot about my sons and the grandchildren. One son, Carlo, lives near me while another, Paolo, lives in Manila. Traveling to the Philippines becomes more challenging each year that I get older, but I miss Paolo and his family so much so I brave the trek. I’ve missed so many programs, recitals, birthdays and sleepovers with Samantha and Kai. I wish I could hug all my grandchildren to assuage their fears (and mine) and reassure them this will soon pass, and when it does, the world will be a better place. It is up to us to fulfill this promise to our children and grandchildren.
Through Viber, I am able to chat with my siblings, nieces and nephews. My niece, Tara, is spearheading a fundraising drive in Manila to provide Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) to the front liners. She and her group have been able to mobilize some fashion designers to produce these. She is getting requests for extra large sizes for doctors who cannot fit into the regular-sized PPE.
I also think about people not related to me – those who do not have access to medical aid, who have lost their jobs, and who cannot now provide for their families. Last week, I sent out an appeal to help Caritas Manila provide COVID-19 kits and food to 15,000 urban poor families in Metro Manila. I have also continued supporting other charities that are dealing with this crisis. I am, of course, very thankful that I am still able to do this, and hope many individuals will continue their philanthropic giving. Now is the time that charities really need our help.
It is not only the virus that is making me feel reflective. It is also because I am turning 70 years old this year. As friends and family members pass away due to age and sickness, you know you are in the pre-departure area. With the coronavirus, you are about to board the flight, until it gets canceled. Life hasn’t stopped and it will not, so we need to make sure that we make the most of the lockdowns – time to improve on relationships, time to read, watch movies and do hobbies, time to write down things we are grateful for, time to love and laugh, time to appreciate the beauty of our planet, and time to have faith in God. The divide that may have separated us will unite us in this crisis. The planet we took for granted will heal. Our relationship with our family members and friends are deeper and closer than ever. There is a rainbow waiting for us at the end of the storm.
After the rain (Photo by Lloyd LaCuesta)
Carlo told me in response to my fears: Instead of thinking we are stuck at home, think that we are safe at home. What matters now is survival.
Hang in there, everyone, and stay safe.