Hate Victim Vilma Kari: Doing Well Physically, But Emotional Healing Takes Time
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A low key celebration of Vilma’s birthday (Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Kari/ AAP(I belong)®
The report from the Manhattan District Attorney’s office describes the assault that followed:
“Elliot approached a 65-year-old woman of Filipino descent on the sidewalk of West 43rd Street between 8th and 9th Avenues. Elliot stated, in substance, “F— you, you don’t belong here.” Elliot kicked the woman in the torso, knocking her to the ground, and proceeded to repeatedly kick and stomp on her head and body. When a Good Samaritan approached to intervene, Elliot threatened the man with a knife before fleeing the scene. The woman was taken to a hospital, where she was diagnosed with a fractured pelvis, forehead contusions, and contusions across her body…Elliot was arrested two days later, with the help of a CrimeStoppers tip.”
It was the year of the COVID-19 health care pandemic that has killed hundreds of thousands of people around the world. It sparked sweeping outrage against Asian people in the U.S. as the virus was traced to a seafood market in China. Some Americans triggered by xenophobia tried to make the bizarre and wrongful connection between the virus and Asian people.
The assault on Vilma was promptly headlined a “hate crime” by news media, Asian American “anti-hate” advocates, leaders, and politicians. The news rippled throughout New York City and beyond.
“It changed our world forever,” said Elizabeth Kari, Vilma’s daughter and only child, in an interview with Positively Filipino.
At the time three years ago it may have felt that way. Vilma and Elizabeth have now reclaimed their lives, just the two of them in their pleasant Manhattan apartment.
“Mom has worked hard to heal, and the fear of walking alone outside is still very real for her. As she walks to nearby stores or runs errands, she is regaining her courage slowly,” says Elizabeth.
They are planning a cruise for the holidays to enjoy a bit of quiet time.
“She loves to travel,” Elizabeth says of her mom who comes from Camarines Norte. “She also loves to learn about different cultures and enjoy local cuisine.”
“All things considered, she is doing well. It’s the emotional and psychological healing that continues to this day.”
Whenever Vilma reads of similar attacks in the news, she stops as if to blur March 29, 2021 from memory. “She would ask herself again, ‘Why me? What did I do wrong?’” Hate incidents are emotional triggers.
Uncomfortable in the spotlight
“I was working from home that morning during a Zoom meeting, when I got her call,” recalls Elizabeth. “I got a missed call on my phone and I thought, ‘She must be walking to the subway and maybe got confused.’ I was about to call her back when my phone lit up with a text that read: ‘Call me. I was attacked.’”
When she called back, Vilma was already at the NYU Langone Medical Center receiving treatment for a fractured pelvis and head contusions.
The news traveled fast. Within 24 hours, Vilma Kari’s name was hogging the headlines.
“Mom has worked hard to heal, and the fear of walking alone outside is still very real for her. As she walks to nearby stores or runs errands, she is regaining her courage slowly,” says Elizabeth.”
“We had two different reactions to it,” says Elizabeth. “She was the typical immigrant who didn’t want to make noise, who wanted to keep it quiet and not let others know about it. I, the American-born, was all about, it’s time we speak up about what happened so you can warn the Asian American community. They already have your name out there. We need to make sure your true story is told.”
Both mother and daughter were uncomfortable being in the spotlight. In the end, Vilma left much of the decision to Elizabeth on how to deal with the press, invitations to speak, requests for interviews, etc. Elizabeth created a GoFundMe page to stop fake accounts from trying to profit off her mother's incident. The response was tremendous. They donated a portion of the funds to give back to organizations focused on caring for the elderly, Asian youth, and survivors of domestic violence and abuse.
Elizabeth put her corporate career as a Senior Director of Merchandising for Prada USA Corporate on hold as she coordinated with law enforcement, cared for her mother, and spoke at rallies.
Vilma did not take part in such events, but she accepted a September 15, 2022 invitation from the White House where President Joe Biden hosted a United We Stand Summit for hate crime survivors. There, she spoke on a panel with other victims addressing hate in the country.
Elizabeth’s father died 11 years ago, yet Vilma chose to stay in Chicago. Says Elizabeth, “For the most part it was mostly my mom and me.”
Vilma and Elizabeth in Chicago (Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Kari/ AAP(I belong)®
When the pandemic erupted and the world lapsed into chaos and uncertainty, Vilma felt the need to be close to her daughter. She moved to New York in the early part of 2021. The pandemic continued to claim lives, and people of Asian descent bore the brunt of misdirected anger.
“She was here for three months. She wasn’t even supposed to be in New York, let alone Times Square,” says Elizabeth.
Birth of AAP(I belong)®
With President Joe Biden during the United We Stand Summit at the White House on September 15, 2022 (Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Kari/ AAP(I belong)®
AAP(I belong)® had its moment at the White House. It was introduced as an organization that aims to “shed awareness on Asian American Native Hawaiian and Pacific Islander discrimination and cultural challenges by providing a safe platform for the community to share their stories of encounters with Anti-Asian hate.”
Vilma was “grateful and honored” to have met faith leaders, members of Congress, activists, and most importantly families of survivors at the summit.
The organization worked toward “encouraging AAPI to share their stories and provide catharsis, while also repurposing the stories to share with the community to spark empathy and self-reflection.” Reading them “gave comfort” to Vilma during her recovery.
The Stop AAPI Hate advocacy group website reports 11,409 unique acts of hate were received between January 2020 and December 2022. These include cases not confined to interpersonal interactions, involve some form of harassment, occur in public spaces and places of business, and where offenders are not just individuals but also institutions. Vilma’s story is out there folded in its data.
Elizabeth speaking out against anti-Asian violence in New York. (Photo courtesy of Elizabeth Kari/ AAP(I belong)®
On December 14, 2023, the Manhattan District Attorney announced in a press statement that Brandon Elliot pleaded guilty:
“(He) pleaded guilty in a New York State Supreme Court to one count of Assault in the First Degree as a Hate Crime and one count of Criminal Possession of a Weapon in the Third Degree. He is expected to be sentenced on January 3, 2024, to a promised term of 15 years in state prison followed by 5 years of post-release supervision.”
There are many more stories from survivors that have not been heard, and Vilma hopes to be one voice that shares them with the world. ###
Cristina DC Pastor is the founding editor of The FilAm newspaper published out of New York City. She co-founded Makilala TV, the first and longest running (10 years) FilAm television talk show in the New York area.
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